I am beginning to understand what Paul meant in the scriptures by “being poured out like a drink offering.” First let’s refresh the scripture.

Paul is reflecting as he nears the end of his days on earth. He has given it all – a life filled with purpose and service to others. Remarkable!

I wish to be so like the great saint, fervently rejoicing, pouring out for others. Honestly, I’m not like him, even if others praise me for being so giving. Yes I have become poor because of others, but i did not become poor on purpose.

Oh, I volunteered to help others, like it was an irresistible compassion. Seems to have been an inheritance from My mother. Our family called it a blessing and a curse. We helped others and they helped themselves. My mother took care of so many people, and she gave birth to 14 children, then she died from cancer a few months before her 55th birthday. She was a kind woman the neighbors remembered. But one day I heard someone say, “those children killed her.”

If I could ID the woman, then I would remember to resent her after almost 50 years. I can only face the truth. Yes, I had lots of drinks on my mother. She sold lunches and sewed clothes while cancer ravaged her body, and I invited my friends to rum and coke and spliffs. She poured out herself like a drink offering as she neared death. I dranked Bacardi and Methuselah and Chasers while Mama lay dying.

Perhaps it is Karma that in my later years I have been forced into altruism. This is a reflection that looks beyond the thin veneer of sainthood, claiming Christian charity as a motive for My benevolence. That is the Gospel of Saint Paul, maybe Mama, but my story is somewhat different.

in this Divine retribution, having taken advantage of enough people for selffish, even though subtle gains, God has prepared me to make the big payback. Or to pay forward, but to pay someone.

Even though it looks purposeful, it is not that saintly, just to be honest. My gospel is more like, “I have been drained like a leaking bucket.” That’s how I feel in my poverty – DRAINED.

On a hopeful note, another way to make my proclamation is “Others have come to my well and dipped freely.” Yes👍, that is better, because my well has never run dry. God always replenished, even in my impoverished thinking, even when I feel drained.

So have a drink on me. Oh! I think you already did. ENJOY. My time with you won’t be very long, so CHEERS!

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